Lulubelle's Revenge

Marriage is a funny thing. It has a life of its’ own and needs feeding.  I have learned more from watching my kids and their relationships than I ever learned in my own.

 My oldest daughter, Lulubelle, was not an easy kid to raise. She was bright, stubborn, clever, and had the knack of finding the one thing that would annoy me the most and doing it.  From the day he was born her brother became a target. She loved him but she also felt he was a test subject. She once cut her brother’s beautiful blonde hair while he was in the high chair. He smiled a toothless smile at me and I then noticed the missing tuft of hair at the top of his head. Lulubelle then proceeded to cut her own very long hair right above her ear; on one side.  When I asked her why, she said “Grandma said if you cut your hair it grows faster and I want long hair”. Oy. (sigh) I understood her logic.

As the years progressed Lulubelle became a favorite among many. She was headstrong, straight forward, goofy and defiant.  It was a hard combination to parent.  We had many arguments through the preteen and teenage years. Silly arguments; both of us struggling for power.  Instead of focusing on loving my daughter, I was focused on controlling her. Such a waste of energy. Why would I want to control a free spirit? I realized one day that one of my favorite things to do was to watch her ride her horse. She would run across the fields with her hair flying free. What a beautiful sight! I began to realize that this visual was exactly who she was. She needed freedom; freedom from me. She went to stay with her dad and on making that decision I started mending my relationship with Lulubelle.

Lulubelle grew into a beautiful woman. She married and had babies. The is the same girl who hole punched the kitty’s  ear so it could wear earrings, peeled the sheetrock off the wall when she was bored, snuck out of the house but didn’t  “sneak” back in, and ate ice cream by the gallon. She has had her trials with my grandchildren. They are bright, clever, stubborn, headstrong, and goofy.  She has had to clean up the remnants of an attempted cake baking gone wrong,  colored walls, lipstick painted bodies, removed diapers and what was in them painted…everywhere.  Her childhood has most definitely come back to haunt her. 

 Through all her trials she has kept her dignity, with frustrated humor and calls me to tell me about it. I support her and comfort her by telling her, “ no, there is nothing wrong with your children. They are just children.” As her kids have grown, so has her marriage. What started as a young couple teetering, is now a solid couple who has figured out what works for them. They both make an effort to keep their bond fresh and alive. They go on dates and do random interesting things.

As a woman she is something to be proud of. She is a wonderful momma. She is true to her friends and she is there when you need her. Many times I have called her at the last minute to see if she can help with an event at my work and she is there, willing and able. I enjoy her dry humor and straight forward attitude. She is capable and reliable. I’ve enjoyed watching this rebellious girl turn into a strong woman, good friend, loyal sister and compassionate mother.   I mostly enjoy watching her feel particularly in control until she realizes…she has siblings. 

Siblings that aren’t afraid of her. They aren’t afraid of her bark. (and she has one)  One particular day her brother and I were buying Halloween candy. He picks up some horrid looking fake tarantulas with hairy legs and I say “what are you…? Oh no.”  He has a devilish grin.   We head up to Lulubelle’s for dinner. I’m down stairs and he asks me if I notice anything. I look around, and up in the curtains are a couple very long hairy legs poking out.  He is a brave soul.  He is so happy that I didn’t have the heart to remind him he will have to deal with the wrath of Lulubelle. He’s used to it, I suppose.  I shake my head at him, and then I hear it. “ahhh! Who put that on my bed?!” He grins bigger. Revenge for Lulubelle wasn’t over.  He had hidden them throughout the house and she found them on random occasions. Each time calling her brother names and he would grin. 

One day Lulubelle revealed that she thought yard gnomes were creepy.  So of course, her brother went out and bought some. He also included their youngest sibling, to insure secrecy.   Every now and then he or the sibling would place a yard gnome in her flower bed. Time went on with no comments from Lulubelle. He would ask me, “has she said anything?” Finally after a few months of hiding them, Lulubelle calls me to tell me she had just got done scolding her boys for lying that there were gnomes in their yard. (“you two are watching too much Harry Potter!” ); until she went out to check. “Mom! Where did they come from?!” Well, none of us told her, which drove her crazy. Why she didn’t immediately put it together that it was her brother, is beyond me.   She came to adjust to her creepy yard gnomes. She still has them. She’s even created flower beds for them. Maybe as a reminder that even when people aren’t with you, they still think about you.  Maybe it’s so that she remembers you are never in control. Maybe it’s to remind her to get back at her brother. Seriously, he can’t possibly think that’s not going to happen…. Could he?